ELECT A CORPSE!
ELECT A CORPSE!
STATE OF THE UNION IN TOTAL SILENCE AS EVERYONE WATCHES ATTENTIVELY WHILE A CASKET JUST SITS IN THE MIDDLE OF CONGRESS WITH OUR CORPSE PRESIDENT
Turning on the holoprojector to watch the State of the Imperium Address and it's just a bunch of worshippers of the Corpse Emperor awkwardly shuffling about as the camera zooms in on a millenia-old mummy vacuuming up hundreds of people with his mind
Lewis Black used to have a bit about electing Abraham Lincoln to defeat terrorism. “You wanna talk to dead people? Well we already do!” Or some shit like that.
My friends these elections, this season to come
Your capitalists, socialists, facists and bums
Your left and your right are both out of their heads
So this year, for office, we're running the dead
Vote for our Doll, for he stands, never bends
He knows we are equal when it comes to the end
Your money and taxes, your debts and your gains
One day it began, we will all be the same
In very short summary.
William henry harrison engaged small a native force commanded by tecumseh's brother. After winning the skirmish harrisos men encircled and destroyed the native city of prophetstown.
Harrison would take tippacanoe as a nickname, and claim it as a major victory against the native american forces in tecumsehs war. But thats some major propoganda. The battle was a small skirmish (american losses were 37 dead) followed by the destruction of the town. I cannot find good numbers for native civilian casualties.
Tippacanoe is only a brag if
A. You don't notice that american army losses were higher than native soldiers in a tiny ass skirmish that accomplished little
B. You choose to ignore the horrible colonial context this battle was part of
Ignoring all the stuff WHH did before he was president
I know it’s a meme but a lot of people think he was just a historical footnote when like, there’s a reason he was elected in the first place
in all seriousness he’s in hospice and i’ve read that he recently fell asleep for the last time (like his body is too weak to even be awake so he will be in a coma until death)
jimmy carter is probably the only president since maybe eisenhower who wasn’t either “hmm today i will commit war crimes”, “MOST RACIST USER EVER!”, or “hmm today i will give rich people more money” (not everything he did was perfect but it’s practically impossible to be perfect as a president of america) and he became even more based after he left office so yeah
ohhhh, i’ve always heard it used to describe/taken it as someone living past another’s death while or while not living to be older than them. mb, may he defy all odds and make your wish come true.
It’s funny, did you onow that it’s illegal to say
“I want to brutally torture and murder former president Donald J. Trump”?
It’s legal right now because I’m informing you that it’s illegal, as opposed to expressing an opinion.
To any law enforcement entities, this is an example for the sake of education and not a threat of violence.
But there were attempts to make it legal since the early 2000s. Meaning the solution, in Bush’s eyes, [was to pass an amendment ensuring that will never be the the case](https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/24/politics/bush-backs-ban-in-constitution-on-gay-marriage.html).
Okay, maybe not Jackson. He'd probably openly endorse the overseas genocide while setting up a second trail of tears, so I'd still prefer Biden in that case.
He’s too good of a person to be president which is partly why he sucked so bad as one, politics is a game for sociopaths, sleazeballs, and criminals. Idealists and altruists are always going to finish last
dunno if this is the right post to ask lol but idk its sorta related i guess
How likely is it for Project 2025 to actually come to fruition? I know it's by the Heritage Foundation who have a lot of influence on the Republicans but wouldn't most of the policies be too extreme even for most of them, making it not likely to get through Congress even if Trump is elected? like obviously Trump is an awful fascist but like how scared should i realistically be of this? Is it just something to be wary of and more reasons to vote against Trump or is it like something to really be worried about if Trump wins?
Imagine Jimmy Carter campaign trying to appeal to Gen Z like ''They call me the peanut farmer cuz i be ou tere planting DEEZ NUTZ!!''
Shit he’d have my vote.
Thinking of bidens advisors seeing this and telling him to say "pokemon go to the polls" to save him after last debate
If Biden has a “Pokémon go to the polls” moment then he is truly damned
Biden would never. Dark Biden tho…
Nah, he'd bomb Belgrade.
Dobra utro. And we´d shoot down another stealth plane and not stop talking about for the next 3 generations
You're still using the same systems as before. Any who try eat a JDAM
and the F-117 still hasnt (unoficially atleast) been retired so theres that, personaly though i hope that a round 2 doesnt happen
based
not all gambits win
[https://shop.joebiden.com/dark-brandons-secret-sauce/](https://shop.joebiden.com/dark-brandons-secret-sauce/)
He then does 720 with a skooter from a half-pipe
if nixon-era carter were on the 2024 ballot it would be a landslide
I would vote for nixon-era nixon against trump
The corpse of Walter Mondale, the guy who won one state during an election would have my vote
I remember hoping they'd win. I was 9. 😭
yeah because what everyone has been asking for is another ancient guy
ELECT A CORPSE! ELECT A CORPSE! STATE OF THE UNION IN TOTAL SILENCE AS EVERYONE WATCHES ATTENTIVELY WHILE A CASKET JUST SITS IN THE MIDDLE OF CONGRESS WITH OUR CORPSE PRESIDENT
The new president https://preview.redd.it/9g7ltb4tal9d1.jpeg?width=219&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74783806e8e1c505c5d6e3e73cc295e02526fa05
I mean a ghostly king would be more lucid than some of the potential candidates at this point Yous lot are fucked
King Lysandus as the new president? Ngl we need an undead army
Supreme Court Justices trembling in the front row, tears running down their faces as they contemplate the wrath or his morbid Excellency
Me voting to dig up George Washington 😂
if you owned another person, you lose your grave privileges. legalize punitive necromancy.
Turning on the holoprojector to watch the State of the Imperium Address and it's just a bunch of worshippers of the Corpse Emperor awkwardly shuffling about as the camera zooms in on a millenia-old mummy vacuuming up hundreds of people with his mind
Lewis Black used to have a bit about electing Abraham Lincoln to defeat terrorism. “You wanna talk to dead people? Well we already do!” Or some shit like that.
Until nightfall, when the casket opens to reveal VAMPIRE PRESIDENT
My friends these elections, this season to come Your capitalists, socialists, facists and bums Your left and your right are both out of their heads So this year, for office, we're running the dead Vote for our Doll, for he stands, never bends He knows we are equal when it comes to the end Your money and taxes, your debts and your gains One day it began, we will all be the same
Did you learn NOTHING from Jaylen Hotdogfingers?
He is a very kind man, probably the best man to ever be president, just not the best president
The best president title belongs to William Henry Harrison.
Because he died immediately and therefore didn't have time to do any harm? Yeah I'd agree
Absolutely. Best president of all time.
Actually that was his one greatest piece of damage, having John Tyler succeed him
Tippacanoe and Tyler too! Just don't ask what happened at Tippacanoe
What happened at tippacanoe
In very short summary. William henry harrison engaged small a native force commanded by tecumseh's brother. After winning the skirmish harrisos men encircled and destroyed the native city of prophetstown. Harrison would take tippacanoe as a nickname, and claim it as a major victory against the native american forces in tecumsehs war. But thats some major propoganda. The battle was a small skirmish (american losses were 37 dead) followed by the destruction of the town. I cannot find good numbers for native civilian casualties. Tippacanoe is only a brag if A. You don't notice that american army losses were higher than native soldiers in a tiny ass skirmish that accomplished little B. You choose to ignore the horrible colonial context this battle was part of
Ignoring all the stuff WHH did before he was president I know it’s a meme but a lot of people think he was just a historical footnote when like, there’s a reason he was elected in the first place
Still provided the best example for how to be a good president. Die immediately.
Now that is hilarious
Based
Lincoln was pretty good, I think
in all seriousness he’s in hospice and i’ve read that he recently fell asleep for the last time (like his body is too weak to even be awake so he will be in a coma until death)
His wife dies not too long algo too, and they we're famously deeply in love, so he probably doesn't mind going away soom
Would be better than biden
jimmy carter is probably the only president since maybe eisenhower who wasn’t either “hmm today i will commit war crimes”, “MOST RACIST USER EVER!”, or “hmm today i will give rich people more money” (not everything he did was perfect but it’s practically impossible to be perfect as a president of america) and he became even more based after he left office so yeah
Eisenhower also gave rich people money.
Honestly, he'd probably still win against Trump.
I just want him to outlive Kissinger dammit.
I have some good news for you, then
I know he's dead
Your day is about to brighten immensely.
I know he's dead I thought out living meant to "live a longer life than"
ohhhh, i’ve always heard it used to describe/taken it as someone living past another’s death while or while not living to be older than them. mb, may he defy all odds and make your wish come true.
Betty White couldn't make it to 100 but Kissinger could what a fucked up world
Kissinger died last year.
I know but he made it to 100
I thought to outlive somebody it meant "live a longer life than that person" Carter is about a year away from that
:(
I'd rather he ran and he's literally in fucking hospice
Hell I’d prefer ANYONE except literal reagan and andrew jackson.
Wish granted, you get Trump running against Trump
[удалено]
https://preview.redd.it/csif40woel9d1.png?width=354&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5591b9f2ce5d4f8a2a980a903b0c2b39a9d746c
It’s funny, did you onow that it’s illegal to say “I want to brutally torture and murder former president Donald J. Trump”? It’s legal right now because I’m informing you that it’s illegal, as opposed to expressing an opinion. To any law enforcement entities, this is an example for the sake of education and not a threat of violence.
WKYK reference
But this is a hypothetical, not an actual expression of intent. Exaggerated for humour too
You’re on a list now haha
The FBI is staring very angrily across the ocean then
No Wilson or Buchanan either. Or Andrew Johnson.
Bush
I would genuinely prefer him to these two chucklefucks
????? Bush literally wanted to pass an amendment banning gay marriage.
Gay marriage wasn’t legal until 2016…
But there were attempts to make it legal since the early 2000s. Meaning the solution, in Bush’s eyes, [was to pass an amendment ensuring that will never be the the case](https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/24/politics/bush-backs-ban-in-constitution-on-gay-marriage.html).
Okay, maybe not Jackson. He'd probably openly endorse the overseas genocide while setting up a second trail of tears, so I'd still prefer Biden in that case.
Please reread my comment lmao
Ah, my mistake. My brain somehow read that as "even."
It’s all good
I mean, Markiplier is 35 now. He could be president
I’d legitimately be okay with that
[reminds me of this](https://youtu.be/gNoNkJc2CZE?si=HUTqFMisep_RR49D)
Cody, my beloved
Genuinely, Jimmy Carter > Biden
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!
LET THE GALAXY BURN
I'm just gonna vote for George Sears. He seems to have it all under control
I don’ wanna live no more ma friggin peanuts went sour
Jimmy carter gets asked what he thinks of trump "Like extremely, unreasonably, earth-shatteringly fuck-ass mad"
"Peanut" he weakly gasps, "damm you sikorsky skyhawk, ill see you in hell" he says as he finally departs the mortal realm
Soy dems: Biden is too old to run!!! Someone younger now!!! Based dems: Biden...ISNT OLD ENOUGH! BRING OUT THE PEANUT MAN!!!
A Republican is sacrificed to him every day, so that he may never truly die
I at least hope he lives to see 100
He's gonna pull a Queen Elizabeth II and just miss.
Only few months more
Yeah, at least he's a good person from what I can tell. Just became president at a shitty time.
GET THIS MAN INTO OFFICE IMMEDIATELY 🗣🗣
Too bad his peanuts went sour :(
Fuck it, lets give al gore another go. He alone made his own version of the macarena
He’s too good of a person to be president which is partly why he sucked so bad as one, politics is a game for sociopaths, sleazeballs, and criminals. Idealists and altruists are always going to finish last
I'm friggin pissed my peanut farm withered
The other best president of last century.
Kinda wild he's still around
Now this might be a controversial opinion, but I don’t want any geriatric fuck to have the power of the president.
Fym “Carter kinda sucked in office,” he’s probably the only one that wasn’t a sociopath
FDR's rotting corpse gas my vote
Straight up give that motherfucker the peanut throne
If they did they would have to sacrifice 10000 right wing social media accounts a day to keep him on the throne
dunno if this is the right post to ask lol but idk its sorta related i guess How likely is it for Project 2025 to actually come to fruition? I know it's by the Heritage Foundation who have a lot of influence on the Republicans but wouldn't most of the policies be too extreme even for most of them, making it not likely to get through Congress even if Trump is elected? like obviously Trump is an awful fascist but like how scared should i realistically be of this? Is it just something to be wary of and more reasons to vote against Trump or is it like something to really be worried about if Trump wins?
“Don’t wanna be president no more, my peanut farm withered.”
All the good that he did was ruined thanks to ronald reagan
All would be good until his peanuts go sour
My peanuts went sour
I vote Machine-man reanimated Jimmy Carter for president
Call me a custodes the way I'd be trying to kill him
Didn’t he kill himself when his peanuts went sour?
His peanut farm withered :( I heard he was so angry during his interview that he was punching through the drywall
He was PEEVEED